Mr. George’s DOCTOR APPROVED Nerve Tonic and Guaranteed WRONG NFL Predictions 2000
1. Indianapolis 12-4: Jim Mora is about as interesting as a leaky faucet. How did he ever wind up with this bunch?
2. N.Y. Jets 9-7: They’ll score plenty. They’ll be fun to watch. And then They’ll CHOKE!
3. Miami 8-8: Dolphins defense stone-walls runners, terrorizes quarterbacks mauls receivers. So does Dolphins offense.
4. Buffalo 8-8: Efficient, competent team. Zzzzzzzzzzz
5. New England 6-10: Late October: After weeks of embarrassing tirades, team officials place Bill “nutcase” Belichick in “coaching cage” for remainder of season. "It's for my own protection," Belichich sheepishly explains.
1. Tennessee 13-3: Dang! These guys'll take a switch to ya and make you Holler fo rmama! Sa-lute!
2. Baltimore 10-6: Ravens lurk in the shadows. Plotting….scheming. Losers nevermore
3. Jacksonville 10-6: The Colosseum sits empty, weeds grow in the Parthenon and the viaducts run dry. An empire in collapse! Et tu,Searcy?
4. Cincinnati 6-10: The only reason for six wins is (see below)
5. Pittsburgh 4-12: By the end of the season. Cowher's face will look worse than this. Click and drag them to the nearest cemetery.
6. Cleveland 3-13: “Pound” and “Dawgs”Pretty well describes the outlook.
1. Oakland 11-5: Players are badly shaken when Al Davis, Wearing a black wash-pail over his head, drunkenly stumbles into locker-room and bearhugs Jon Gruden, whispering “Luke…Luke.”
2. Denver 10-6: Nike execs delighted by rebound of team swoosh.
3. San Diego 8-8: A pretty Decent bunch. Too bad nobody east of Rancho Cucamonga gives a rat’s ass.
4. Seattle 8-8: Great city? Check. Terrific coach? Check. Jon Kitna? Blech.
5. Kansas City 6-10: You can write the star-studded Chiefs at: Resident or Occupant, 123 Main Street, Anytown U.S.A.
The NFC is coming up. Mr. George is consulting with NASA right now but will have the rest of the predictions soon.
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